Bill Nash Music

Lyrics

Sheldon and Shirley – Bill Nash

Sheldon was a stout box turtle, I met him at the pet shop
Turtles cost a dollar and a quarter, and an extra buck bought him a house
He moved around the bowl so slowly, the sanctuary fit him well
With a little greenery and water, he seemed to like his life

One day I came home from school just like every other day
Mom greeted me at the door, with an ashen look, I heard her say,
“Sheldon died today, it was all such a tragic mistake
Your sister, she was curious, she pushed on his shell
But don’t be mad at her, she’s only 4”

Shirley was a delicate box turtle, I got her next week at the store
She kept the turtle sanctuary clean, at least for a turtle
She’d wait each day for me to come by, she loved her lettuce and an occasional fly
She moved around the bowl so slowly, and she seemed to like her life.

But another day I came home from school, there was mom at the door again
With a strange twisted smile, I knew what she’d say, but she still said it,
“Your sister did it again, poor Shirley’s dead, we’ll bury her in the backyard”
And then she said those now famous words
“But don’t be mad at her, she’s only 4”

The next week at the pet shop I got the surprise of my young life
It turned out some researcher found that turtles transmit diseases
And the sale of turtles was discontinued
But I guess it was all for the better
It kept my sister from becoming a serial turtle murderer

The years went by, we all got older… my sister never did get over the guilt
Though I told her it was alright, I forgave her, still fretting over turtles she’d kilt
And I even forgave my mother for insisting I not be mad
At a little girl in a frenzy, killing turtles I had had

Now every other year or so there comes a package in the mail
From that poor, guilt ridden girl still looking for her peace of mind
Now it’s turtles everywhere, the stuffed or ceramic kind
She’s trying to make it up to me, but I don’t need a reason to love that girl
Besides I couldn’t be mad at her, she was only 4